Sad Times

         The poem I am going to post today is dedicated to everybody who is going through a hard time in their lives. I forgot it even existed, because I never write poems.

         I think I did not mean it as a poem, I was just feeling horrible for quite a while, and decided to write my thoughts on the piece of paper (they say it helps), to get it out of me. And I think it did help, because yesterday (well as I probably mentioned before I had been trying to organize my life, staring with my closet, just decided to put everything in places where it belongs, shelf by shelf, drawer by drawer, hoping that it would help me organize things in my mind as well, so I can deal with one drawer at a time - I thought it would make life easier).

        Well, it seems like I am getting to it from too far away, so...as I said I was organizing and found this little notebook that I even forgot I had (this is how bad I am). And it was a brand new notebook, so I decided to put it to good use I wrote some breakfast ideas in french in it (I don't think I mentioned my obssession with everything french) and also some phone numbers. But then yesterday at work I needed to make a note in it about something irrelevant and it opend on a page with this poem. It was still in Russian though (I think I always speak Russian when I feel bad). I guess that method (writing thoughts on paper to get rid of them) really helps, because it just startled me howhorrible I must have felt to write such sad things???

        Anyway I would probably leave the poem alone and forget about it again, but I got to read this post about depression posted by accordingtoannika, and reading those sad things about the condition that so many people live with just kind of moved me to translate this to English. I don't still completely understand depression, maybe because I don't have it (at least I hope I don't), but reading my little creation made me feel like I must have gone through something very similar. Anyway, don't be too judgemental - as I said I hace never written before, and plus it's a translation, so it was hard to transfer the same feeling from one language to another using similar words while trying to keep the rhyme intact.

Empty roads

Alien land

And my soul is

Full of sorrow

Loss and fears

And the pain

No joy

For me to borrow

I'd look back

So still, I can't scream

I can't run anywhere,

Nowhere

Only crows

Are hovering over me

Uselessly

Trying to scare  me

And I tried to forget

And to get

From reality

Back to lights

But around me

There's only

Ennui

I need help

I need help

I can't hide!!!



I just wanted to add that already forgot when it was that I wrote it. And maybe it's for the best. So I wish for everybody to forget their nightmares and sadness and whatever goes wrong. If only everybody could be happy...