A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. (
Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry
feast. (William Shakespeare)
Less than a week is left till Thanksgiving, and usually that doesn't make me feel anything special, as this holiday is not something we celebrate in Russia (I mean, we know of it, but it does not necessarily carry that sacred meaning to us as it might to Americans). But this year there is something special and solemn in it for me, something almost sacred that I can't really explain. But my heart is already filled with gratefulness and joy, and I am anticipating it with impatience, and even I won't get to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner at home with my family, I am still happy. That would regularly make me really mad and sad, it has been over three years now that I have not seen my family, not only on holidays, but at all. And that has been extremely hard for me, as I have always been extremely close to my parents and my sister and it breaks my heart to be so far away from them and miss their Birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Easter, my Birthday year after year, after year and not be able to share those precious moments, that will never come back, with them, and I know it breaks their hearts too.
And the only person who really cares about me here and who is also the reason I am here is my beloved husband who's been extremely patient with me. And who has been such a great support for me when I cry and suffer.
That being sad, we never get to spend any holidays together, never... And that over these past 3 years had made me hate holidays, me, for whom they have always been that magical, special, favorite time of the year, the time when you become a child again and laugh with your nearest for so many reasons and for no reason at all, the time when you forget your worries and grief and open your heart to happiness and joy.
We are not spending this Thanksgiving together, we are not having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner at home, because our schedules don't match. But he is going to see me at work and bring something delicious for me and we'll have precious 30 minutes of lunchtime to be grateful for each other.
And that makes me happy, and thankful. Thankful for our love and bond, for the fact that we are still together after so many misfortunes and tests that had fallen onto us, thankful for all the good moments we had, for the travels we did, for even finding each other in this big world, originating from different countries and being brought together by chance and God!
All those things make me feel like I should open up again and be that carefree girl that I used to be, the girl who never took anything for granted, the girl who could appreciate nice things in her life and work hard for those nice things to happen to her. I want to be that girl again. And not the indifferent, bland person that I have become trying to harden myself so I don't get hurt, trying to make myself invincible so I don't feel the pain of being away from people I love. Now is the time to be happy again, to appreciate great things and forget about the bad, to open your heart, to value and enjoy every moment!
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Let your households be abundant with joy and bliss!!!
Love, Rita)
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